Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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