I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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