I'm drive I can fine osifer
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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