if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
