sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize