After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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