just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
