We won't sleep together?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
