I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
