Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
