i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
