i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
