Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize