I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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