Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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