So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
