This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
