While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize