i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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