If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
