I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
