she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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