so that wasnt chicken after all
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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