if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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