Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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