She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
