awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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