He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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