I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
