I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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