That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
