Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
