shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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