4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
