Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
