Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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