no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
