So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
