how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
