i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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