Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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