I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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