Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
