I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
