That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
