I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
