Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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