I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize