airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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