Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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