At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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