I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
