Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
