i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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