I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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