Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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