He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
