Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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