it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
