Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
