there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
as a side note pls kill me
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
