I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
