I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
