When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize