your parents love me but you hate me
I met the friendliest cop last night
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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