yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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