it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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