I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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