I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
