Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
