im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
