does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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