out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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