FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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